Yeah!

Saturday is here! Got a lot to do today but so glad it's finally the weekend. :)Taking the kids to a birthday party this afternoon. They're excited. They are actually in the shower on their own volition. Amazing! hehe

I need to do a bunch of cleaning but not sure where to start. Probably start with laundry. I cleaned *a* toilet yesterday. LOL Sometimes I wish we only had one bathroom instead of three. The one is the one that gets used the most but funny that it is also the one that stays the cleanest.

Grocery shopping again... blech. I think my mom said she was going to buy me a freezer for Christmas. That'd be nice because I get so sick of not being able to stock up since we have no place to put it. The kids are going to start going through food a lot faster as they get older. We do have a spare fridge (it's in the garage removed from the other kitchen) but I hate to plug it in to waste electric just to use another dinky freezer.

I think I am going to start cooking more good food. I get in thse ruts where I don't want to cook but then I get these bursts of cooking energy where I want to cook a lot and try out new recipes. It's just sad to see that the cost of food is going through the roof. Gallon of milk here is $4.09 and steaks are like $10 a pound. Makes me feel like eating at McDonald's is the better choice when I can get dinner for all of us for like $18. LOL Shoot, a tv dinner costs $4 and a value meal costs $5... which one do you think I choose most often? So that explains why I weigh so much!!! ;P

ok, I have to get this show on the road. Have a great day!

at a low...

creative low that is... i came down to the dungeon to scrap about 10 minutes ago and have managed to find myself doing everything but that! You know what I mean... pick up some scraps that should be in the trash, log onto the computer, rifle through a couple old magazines, click through a couple months worth of photos... LOL. I am just not feeling the creative juices flowing tonight... or lately for that matter. I usually at least have all these ideas in my head that i keep telling myself, "find some time to do THAT and THIS and THAT!" but not tonight... tonight it's just blank.

Must be exhaustion. I haven't been getting more than four hours of sleep a night. I want to sleep more but find that i'm getting to be somewhat of an insomniac... worrying about stuff, thinking, and just plain not really tired. I need to make some lifestyle changes. I need to quit drinking so much caffeine every day. I need to start exercising. I need to eat better. I need to quit smoking. I need to do a lot of things... but where do i find the motivation? the desire? I envy those that can choose a goal and really strive to attain it. I'm not sure i have that in me. i mean, if it's a goal i KNOW i can achieve, i will do it... but if it's the unknown, i guess i just keep telling myself, "yeah right." Okay, this is getting to sound like premature New Years Resolutions and just plain depressing me. LOL

I took the baby and Gia to work with me the other morning because Kurt had a dentist appointment. It was cool to let everyone see the baby again. They really haven't seen her in a few months so i wanted to show off what a little plumpster she was. hehe. Gia was a hit as usual with her cute self... everyone is either saying how beautiful she is or perhaps they are just being nice. I personally think she's beautiful so that's all that matters. ;) I was sitting on the couch tonight with her and looked over and was taken aback a little bit by how grown up she's starting to look. I got a little choked up and had to give her a squeeze. She is shooting up like a beansprout. It's starting to really hit me that her and Orion are no longer "kiddies." Sometimes they act like 3 year olds but it amazes me sometimes with the things they know or do. Orion is loving 2nd grade and seems to be all about his friends at this point. I really am trying to instill a sense of independence and responsiblity in him because i'm afraid he's becoming quite the "follower." I know he's just 7 but i feel like he should be able to stand up to his friends more and not let them call him names or try to get him to do things he shouldn't. All he talks about is his friends. *sigh*

Okay, i'm starting to feel maybe a twinge of an itch for creating so i'm heading off to scratch at it until it bleeds.

... and into the night...

Boy, what a long day! You wouldn't think so since i woke up late! LOL

It all started at 8 am when I woke up and remembered it was the first day of school. EEEK! LOL, so Orion got the ol' heave ho out the door in 12 minutes. I did manage to snap a couple of photos on the porch before he left. Whew! Yeah, picture me in nothing but a bathrobe (errrr, if you can handle that!) I'm sure my neighbors thought I looked really strange. Out on the porch, taking photos... with a stinkin' robe and my hair all sticking up everywhere. hehehehe

Got a really cute skull onesie for Marissa from Hot Topic. Man, I'm such a sucker for this kind of stuff. I never dressed the other kids in "freaky" clothes but now that i'm on #3, I've realized that i really don't care what people think of me and what i dress my kids in, right? LOL, it's not like Orion and Gia look all stylish when they have jelly stains or wear long sleeved shirts with shorts. I have given up on the fashionable kids ideal... now, I just try to make sure they at least appear presentable and only go that extra mile if it's for photos and whatnot. I just don't think it's all that important in the big scheme... know what i mean? I have a few photos of me as a child and it's like "Mom, what the hell was I wearing?!!" She just laughs. So if my kiddlets look back at any photos of them dressed like heathens, it won't matter... the clothes will be horrendous looking as it is!!! muhahahaa! I would've KILLED for a skull shirt when i was a kid! When i was shopping for Orion's clothes, i was shocked that they had so many cool shirts for size 7 kids.

I sooooo wanted to make time to scrap tonight but it didn't happen! I'm disappointed. I will attempt again tomorrow. However, I did get 5 loads of laundry done, made chili to last 3 days, baked a cake, and packed lunch for tomorrow. I'm supermom, huh... tchaaaaaaaaaa!!! Night.

Your EQ is 120

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

*&#_)@+

Dang, i really want a calendar archive on my sidebar but I can't get it to work right. BAH! Oh well, i don't have the patience for tinkering tonight. LOL I should be doing something fun or something productive or sleeping but here I am tooting around with code.

Got all the back to school clothes shopping out of the way sans shoes and still couldn't find a backpack that didn't look like geekeroooooo! I also got Marissa a couple of cute little things from Old Navy. I spent $126 there today and got 4 pairs of pants and a shirt for Orion & a jumpsuit, 2 pairs of pants, shirt, sweater for Marissa. Poor Gia - but I didn't make it over to the girls section... Marissa started to fuss.

We've been trying to come up with a short name for Marissa... i have a hard time saying the whole thing all the time. Stupid of me not to think of this while I was filling out the birth certificate! LOL. Gia was easy as that is what I wanted her name to be. We added the "nna" to it because grandma seemed to think it was kind of choppy... hence, Gianna. But I only call her that if she doesn't hear me the first four hundred times. Orion doesn't have a shortened name... i guess that one just rolls off the tongue easily. When he was a baby, i called him Ori every now and then but not really all that often... that was more difficult to use than his full name. Soooo... back to Marissa. My mom keeps calling her Maria and it's driving me batty!!! I don't care for Rissa too much. Issa is okay but reminds me of Isabella. I was thinking either Izzy or possibly Rizzi. Not super fond of the later but it's kind of cute. Is that too far a stray? Then I think about Grey's Anatomy and the trendy factor. Ugh! I give up! Suggestions welcome!!!

breathe

Pretty uneventful day here. It's been raining for eons it seems. We had a bbq/picinic for the homeschooling families at Pioneer Park today and so I was on my feet all day.... wet and cold. Luckily, I got off work a few hours early.

Mom came over late tonight and took Orion and Gia to her house to stay the night so it's just me and the baby tonight. Nice.... heheehe. I needed a break. I had taken them all to Walmart this evening to find Orion a backpack and pick up a few other things. Ended up buying them toys as well because... well, you know. That working mommy guilt. LOL

The house is a wreck so I foresee cleaning in my weekend plans. Not sure if anything is planned. We are definitely a fly by the seat of our pants family. That's the way things roll when our schedules conflict in complete opposite directions.

I also want to set aside some time to scrap but lately, I've only been able to scrap late late Sunday night. Since school starts on Monday, I may take that day off. The hell with work. It'll all be there on Tuesday for me. :) LMBO

Not much else to post about tonight. I'm pretty drained. Just putting off actually going to bed. It's funny because I seem to go to bed earlier on the weekends than I do weekdays. I think probably just catch up sleep time. hehe. Night!

sneak a peek...

I'm showing it tomorrow for the sketch challenge anyway... lol.



Gia last summer hanging out in the backyard. This is a Sept. kit with CherryArte paper. Using Carrie's sketch CG#32(thanks, Carrie!)

Tagged - the answer is...

Dangit! I got tagged to do these questions by visiting Laura's blog. ;-)

--If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? Anywhere... as long as it was my DREAM house!

--What's your favorite article of clothing? No favorites at the moment. Everything looks ill on me at this point. It's just a matter of picking what looks least gross. LOL

--Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? The whole package. :) I tend to be attracted to either lanky skater body styles or Vin Diesel. *drool*

--What's the last CD you bought? Aye! I can't even remember... it's been about 5 years or more.

--Where's your favorite place to be? Away.

--Least favorite place? Gynecologist's office? LMBO

--What's your favorite place to be massaged? In bed *EG*

--Strong in mind or strong in body? I'd say mind but I think i've even lost that...

--What time do you wake up in the morning? When she cries... hehe.

--What's your favorite kitchen appliance? Dishwasher! How did I ever live without you?

--What makes you really angry? Idiots... purposely acting like idiots.

--If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Cello... I played in grade school and would love to learn it again.

--Favorite color? Black... i know i know but i don't really have a favorite. They're all nice.

--Sports car or SUV? Today I'd say sports car.

--Do you believe in an afterlife? Not sure... some days yes, some days no.

--Favorite children's book? There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly

--Favorite season? Summer... it's too short.

--Least favorite household chore? Wait a second... if I don't have a favorite, how can I have a least favorite? ewwww... chores. I hate most chores but one thing I don't do around here that dh is responsible for is vacuuming. Bleh!

--If you could have one super power, what would it be? The ability to turn dirt into cash? LOL

--If you have a tattoo, what is it? Just one from when I was 18. It's a tribal dragon (red/yellow/black) on my lower left side of stomach. After 3 kids and weight fluctuations/stretch marks, it looks nothing like a dragon... I call it the retarded sea monkey now... you'd have to see it to understand. LOL

--Can you juggle? Nope... no hand eye coordination.

--The one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to? My dad. I have so many things I'd like to tell him now that I'm older.

--What's your favorite day? Saturday

--What's in the trunk of your car? spare tire and a garbage bag (with a dead body inside) kidding! kidding!

--Sushi or a hamburger? mmmm... tough one. Sushi sounds good today because i just had won tons. I'll have a hamburger too as long as you slap a piece of cheese on it.

yes, blue :)

Your Toes Should Be Blue

You're a little out there, but that means you take guys to a place that's out of this world! Your ideal guy: Zany, hilarious, and totally unpredictable. Stay away from: Anyone who has to get up for work in the morning

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

Weekend's here!

Last night I didn't end up getting anything done. :( Well anything productive, that is. LOL... ended up going to get school supplies at Walmart, grabbing some Mike's Hard Limeade and watching Final Destination 3 with Kurt & Karen.

Today, was late for work... baby woke up at 3 a.m. (about 10 minutes after I fell asleep) and had me up for about an hour. I didn't wake up until 9.... eeee! The rest of the day was downhill from there but am glad I have Saturday and Sunday here to look forward to.

Saturday I need to do some serious shopping for school clothes for Orion. Poor kid is going to look like a bum! Better make myself a list because i'm always getting distracted and end up looking at baby clothes. LOL! How can you not?! They're so cute! Also need to go grocery shopping. I wish that didn't always take an hour and a half out of my weekend.

I should probably start doing a little shopping for clothes for myself as well. I really don't want to but I don't think any of my pre-preg dockers and slacks are going to fit after labor day when we go back to dress code. I am almost there (10 lbs lost so far - and about 20 away from pre-preg weight --- LOL, although 60 away from goal weight) but yet I really don't feel like buying more clothes. I have that delusion that I'll buy new ones and then i'll all of a sudden lose all sorts of weight overnight and not get any use out of the new clothes. lmbo My jeans right now only fit right out of the dryer.... about an hour later I can't keep them up on my behind... but of course too cheap to buy a big belt. Ohhhhh cheaperoneeee me! Darn my mom - i've inherited her cheapitis. All of my old pants are size 14 but I have a feeling that even though i'm in 16 right now, it'll be hard to fit into 14's due to all the roundness around the midsection. grrr! I can get them on over my butt (whew!)but can't button/zip. wah!

The state fair ends tomorrow and we already went (on tuesday night i think) so won't be going the last day. I'm just glad because it's been trafficky around here and all night long i hear cop sirens. It's a madhouse at night there. Too big of a crowd and lots of fights breaking out. Would like to go again but definitely ain't because it's the last day and it costs way too much. =p

I am also hoping to take a bunch of photos this weekend. I am so bad about taking photos. :( I need more scrapping material, though. Not feeling especially inspired lately.

Noticed a lump on Marissa's thigh tonight and started to freak out a little. It's a big lump beneath the skin but she's so chunky, you can't see it... can only feel it. Then I thought about what might've happened and remembered she had her immunizations on Monday. They gave her 3 shots and i'm pretty sure that's where they gave her one. I am hoping it disappears because it's pretty freaky. I can't remember if I mentioned but I can't believe she's so big already. She's 16 lb. 10 oz. OYE! My back is going to be hurting for the next 10 months because I bet she won't start walking until she's 14 months or so. That's when the other kids started. Maybe she'll be different... *crossing fingers* LOL

It's getting late so I better log off and try to do something productive for awhile. Maybe toss some laundry in and try to plop down to work on a project. Hope baby stays asleep for me.

:)

Starting to feel a little better - tired but better.

Not much going on here. I just need to go scrap but i'm sooooo tired. LOL! Oh! and now the baby just started crying.... urgggg... be back later to write.

just another manic monday

actually... a manic weekend and monday. Sunday was spent in utter, disgusting depression and what i guess was possibly post partum really dropkicking me smack dab in the face. I hate to admit how weak i am. it's true, though. i have this knack for taking everything in my life, rolling it up into a ball, and calling it garbage. i DO know where i get it from... but i don't know why i refuse to recognize that it's all perceptual. i *am* but some days i just don't want to *be*. i won't get into the gory details but it amazes me that i wasn't checked into the hospital. a total mental breakdown.

on a POSITIVE note, though... I AM here. :) And today i took the day off because i had a lot of stuff to get done. It felt good to take it off but i didn't get much of a break. oh well.

Marissa's 4 mos. shots... she got 'em, she cried like babies cry. She's growing so dang fast. 16 lbs. 10 oz... more than doubled her birth weight. LOL I went through the clothes and boxed up everything newborn size to 6 mos. She pretty much is wearing 6-9 mos and up depending on what it is. Her little buddha belly makes it tough to get clothes that fit. I realize why it seems like all of Gia's hand me downs aren't cutting it... Gia was born in September so her stuff was winter as a baby whereas Marissa is a summer infant. duh!



Took Orion to get his haircut today after grocery shopping (we had NO food!). He had cut his own bangs last week... what's with my kids and cutting their hair? LOL... anyways, i was letting his hair grow long just to "see" and he cut the bangs short because he said he was hot. grrr! So the hairdresser cut it really short and gave him a spiky look. She asked him if he wanted some color and he was like, "no, i don't like crazy colored hair." LOL... talked him into it for fun. He picked this metallic lightish purple. that's my boy... punk but a softie at the same time. Gia of course was wayyyyyyyyy jealous when she saw it. I will have to take her for a trim sometime this week and I need a trim, too.

It was a non-stop day. I'm glad for that I guess. Keeps me out of my own head. LOL

Kids have been begging to go to the state fair but i'm just not sure if we'll go this year. I won't take them without Kurt with us and he's been working every day for like 10 days. It is just a madhouse at the fair and i could see my kids getting lost there in the blink of an eye. Plus, it's so dang expensive. Man, I remember getting ride bracelets for $15 and now they're like $50. oye! I just get tickets and it works out to about $3 a ride -- my kids are still too little for the good rides but i know they still have fun on the little baby rides. i like to go on the rides too but haven't in many years. I'm always either pregnant or have a baby with me. Someday i'll get to go on the rides again. I will say that if we do make it to the fair this year, i'm bringing a backpack full of drinks and snacks! Boy, i'm a cheapskate but crap is expensive! I think we went for about 3 hours last year and dropped about $150.

School starting in 2 weeks and i haven't gotten anything really. Got a few pairs of pants for Orion and some glue. LOL Next weekend is going to be me shopping like a maniac.

Getting late so I better go to bed now. No worries, no more bad dreams like that last one. LOL... thankfully!
I have to go to work tomorrow. Wah!

Nightmares...

from me and not my kids. This is going to sound totally crazy and wacky but last night I went to bed around 2:30 a.m. and had a nightmare and was awake by 2:50 or so. I've never been one to have nightmares or scary dreams really. The scariest dream I even recall is one where i'm being chased by bees the size of cats. LOL.

Anyway, this dream really affected me today. I can't get it out of my head. It started out with me doing something around the house and as I was passing by the window, I caught a glimpse of someone dressed as the grim reaper outside and was momentarily startled. Then I realize it's just the pesky neighbors who are always throwing costume parties and getting wild... sometimes drifting into my yard (this is an extension from a dream I had recently but it's not reality... my neighbors are quite old and very quiet people in real life). So I am relieved for a moment to realize it's just someone in costume. Then all of a sudden all of my teeth break and fall out of my mouth. As I am on the ground scooping them up and trying to collect them all, I see the grim reaper guy still standing there and then start to get worried it isn't just the neighbor partying too hard.... he's like just standing at my house staring. I panic a little bit and try not to look at the window. Then my buddy Karen comes through the door and I say to her, "Did you see that guy out there?" `(she couldn't have missed him as he was right there in the front which she would have passed by to come to the door... of course these dreams never make any sense, LOL) She shakes her head, no and then I call her over to my bedroom window where we can see him out there as well... just standing in my front yard staring... he's like a foot from touching my house. This is where I wake up. Thank god.

It's so weird because I was dreaming like that within 20 minutes of falling asleep. Generally, those types of dreams that happen that fast are just things that relate to what you have on your mind, right? I was extremely scared... not usually scared by my dreams. Interested - yes. Scared - no. Of course, I have never really dreamt of scary movie type stuff... and i haven't even watched scary movies either lately. What's up!!??!! I had to get out of bed with Marissa because she was crying for a bottle. I was almost too afraid to... and I wouldn't look through the windows at all when I took her into the kitchen to get the bottle. Grabbed the phone on my way back to the bedroom and called DH at work. Of course, it took him 5 minutes to get to the phone to answer. He calmed me down a little bit but I kept picturing that damned grim reaper guy and couldn't fall back asleep right away. I eventually did though and didn't dream about it at all.

Woke up this morning at 7:45 ish (of course sometime in there was a bottle feeding that I can't recall due to half-asleepedness) and just had the yuckiest feeling like I shouldn't leave the house. Everything in my body said something horrible was going to happen. I did end up getting my arse in gear and getting to work an hour later. Called home a few times to make sure everyone was okay. Talked to one of my co-workers who was telling me about Carl Jung and the teeth dream stuff... I didn't know it earlier but I guess that is some kind of symbol of mortality. SCARIER! Especially pairing it up with the grim reaper himself. I have had the teeth dream a few times I'm sure before... but don't think it linked to anything specific.

Googled for interpretation on the teeth falling out and came up with this of which i think some kind of might pertain:

Dreams that your teeth are falling out are the most common dreams we here at Dream Moods receive. Common dream scenarios include having your teeth crumbling in your hands or your teeth falling out one by one with just a light tap. Such dreams are not only horrifying and shocking, but often leaves the dreamer with a lasting image of the dream. So what does it mean?

One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxiety about your appearance and how others perceive you. Sadly, we live in a world where good looks are valued highly and your teeth play an important role in conveying that image. Teeth are used in the game of flirtations, whether it be a dazzling and gleaming smile or affectionate necking. These dreams may stem from a fear of your sexual impotence or the consequences of getting old. Teeth are an important feature of our attractiveness and presentation to others. Everybody worries about how they appear to others. Caring about our appearance is natural and healthy.

Another rationalization for these falling teeth dream may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some specific situation. These dreams are an over-exaggeration of your worries and anxiety.

Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth represent power. And the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness. Are you lacking power in some current situation? Perhaps you are having difficulties expressing yourself or getting your point across. You feel frustrated when your voice is not being heard. You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in some situation or relationship in your life. This dream is an indication that you need to be more assertive and believe in the value of your own opinion.

In the latest research, it has been shown that women in menopause have frequent dreams about teeth. This may be related to getting older and/or feeling unattractive and less feminine.

Traditionally, it was thought that dreaming that you did not have teeth, represent malnutrition which may be applicable to some dreamers.

Other Perspectives
A scriptural interpretation for bad or falling teeth indicate that you are putting your faith, trust, and beliefs in what man thinks rather than in the word of God. The bible says that God speaks once, yea twice in a dream or a vision in order to hide pride from us, to keep us back from the pit, to open our ears (spiritually) and to instruct and correct us.

In the Greek culture, when you dream about loose, rotten, or missing teeth, it indicates that a family member or close friend is very sick or even near death.

According to the Chinese, there is a saying that your teeth will fall out if your are telling lies.

It has also been said that if you dream of your teeth falling out, then it symbolizes money. This is based on the old tooth fairy story. If you lose a tooth and leave it under the pillow, a tooth fairy would bring you money.

Granted, I have my issues about my appearance and getting old, but I think this might be more anxiety or fear of change. I am hoping it is NOT the sick or near death thing and hoping it IS the money thing. hehee.

Then the grim reaper I looked up and found this:

Seeing the grim reaper in your dream means the negative, rejected aspects of your personality. It represents aspects of yourself that you have repressed. Alternatively, it symbolizes death or the end of something.

Hmmmm... I think I might have this figured out but won't know until i get some sleep. Off to bed early to see what I dream about.