at a low...
creative low that is... i came down to the dungeon to scrap about 10 minutes ago and have managed to find myself doing everything but that! You know what I mean... pick up some scraps that should be in the trash, log onto the computer, rifle through a couple old magazines, click through a couple months worth of photos... LOL. I am just not feeling the creative juices flowing tonight... or lately for that matter. I usually at least have all these ideas in my head that i keep telling myself, "find some time to do THAT and THIS and THAT!" but not tonight... tonight it's just blank.
Must be exhaustion. I haven't been getting more than four hours of sleep a night. I want to sleep more but find that i'm getting to be somewhat of an insomniac... worrying about stuff, thinking, and just plain not really tired. I need to make some lifestyle changes. I need to quit drinking so much caffeine every day. I need to start exercising. I need to eat better. I need to quit smoking. I need to do a lot of things... but where do i find the motivation? the desire? I envy those that can choose a goal and really strive to attain it. I'm not sure i have that in me. i mean, if it's a goal i KNOW i can achieve, i will do it... but if it's the unknown, i guess i just keep telling myself, "yeah right." Okay, this is getting to sound like premature New Years Resolutions and just plain depressing me. LOL
I took the baby and Gia to work with me the other morning because Kurt had a dentist appointment. It was cool to let everyone see the baby again. They really haven't seen her in a few months so i wanted to show off what a little plumpster she was. hehe. Gia was a hit as usual with her cute self... everyone is either saying how beautiful she is or perhaps they are just being nice. I personally think she's beautiful so that's all that matters. ;) I was sitting on the couch tonight with her and looked over and was taken aback a little bit by how grown up she's starting to look. I got a little choked up and had to give her a squeeze. She is shooting up like a beansprout. It's starting to really hit me that her and Orion are no longer "kiddies." Sometimes they act like 3 year olds but it amazes me sometimes with the things they know or do. Orion is loving 2nd grade and seems to be all about his friends at this point. I really am trying to instill a sense of independence and responsiblity in him because i'm afraid he's becoming quite the "follower." I know he's just 7 but i feel like he should be able to stand up to his friends more and not let them call him names or try to get him to do things he shouldn't. All he talks about is his friends. *sigh*
Okay, i'm starting to feel maybe a twinge of an itch for creating so i'm heading off to scratch at it until it bleeds.
Must be exhaustion. I haven't been getting more than four hours of sleep a night. I want to sleep more but find that i'm getting to be somewhat of an insomniac... worrying about stuff, thinking, and just plain not really tired. I need to make some lifestyle changes. I need to quit drinking so much caffeine every day. I need to start exercising. I need to eat better. I need to quit smoking. I need to do a lot of things... but where do i find the motivation? the desire? I envy those that can choose a goal and really strive to attain it. I'm not sure i have that in me. i mean, if it's a goal i KNOW i can achieve, i will do it... but if it's the unknown, i guess i just keep telling myself, "yeah right." Okay, this is getting to sound like premature New Years Resolutions and just plain depressing me. LOL
I took the baby and Gia to work with me the other morning because Kurt had a dentist appointment. It was cool to let everyone see the baby again. They really haven't seen her in a few months so i wanted to show off what a little plumpster she was. hehe. Gia was a hit as usual with her cute self... everyone is either saying how beautiful she is or perhaps they are just being nice. I personally think she's beautiful so that's all that matters. ;) I was sitting on the couch tonight with her and looked over and was taken aback a little bit by how grown up she's starting to look. I got a little choked up and had to give her a squeeze. She is shooting up like a beansprout. It's starting to really hit me that her and Orion are no longer "kiddies." Sometimes they act like 3 year olds but it amazes me sometimes with the things they know or do. Orion is loving 2nd grade and seems to be all about his friends at this point. I really am trying to instill a sense of independence and responsiblity in him because i'm afraid he's becoming quite the "follower." I know he's just 7 but i feel like he should be able to stand up to his friends more and not let them call him names or try to get him to do things he shouldn't. All he talks about is his friends. *sigh*
Okay, i'm starting to feel maybe a twinge of an itch for creating so i'm heading off to scratch at it until it bleeds.
2 Comments:
I hear you on the creative low thing. You do exactly what I do - heck what I am doing now! Commenting on blogs and blogging instead of scrapping :)
I also hear you on the procrastinating on goals thing. I need to lose weight too - it is hard!!
Your blog is beautiful and I can't wait to see what creative thing you come up with in the dungeon! You are amazingly talented!
I am SO there with you on the goals thing. I give up far too easily and then beat myself up for it. I have the opposite problem with Shona. She is always the bossy one, telling others what to do. :(
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